Wednesday, May 13, 2009

So you want to date my daughter?

So you think you want to date my daughter? All you have to do is make it through the obstacle course. The obstacle course is simply making it up the sidewalk from the curb to the front door, but beware of the following:
  • Cujo, the hungry rottweiler staked out in the front yard
  • Shotgun pellets falling from the sky
  • One to three males swinging baseball bats at your kneecaps
  • Hot Rod, the drug sniffing dog (trained to signal he has a scent by biting the crotch area)

If you have enough skill and perseverance to actually make it to the front door, ring the door bell and request an interview. Here is a sampling of the questions you might expect:

  • Is your GPA 4.0 or better?
  • Do you have a job now and what are your career plans?
  • Do you have a car?
  • Have you gone through puberty?
  • Do you know how a male cow becomes a steer?
  • Spell and define castration?
  • What do you think of my dull, rusty knife?
  • Do you have ED?

Actually the questions don't matter, because there is absolutely no way you're ever going to pass the interview anyway. Good luck on your way back to the curb.

It seems unrelated, but recently I have had this strange urge to clean my guns and go to the shooting range.


Brittney said...

JERK!!!! :(

mousemovie said...

Oh how well I know that over-riding urge to dismantle something or someone with your bare hands, not necessarily to kill just severly maim...

I am sure glad your Dad never had those feelings though....