- Cujo, the hungry rottweiler staked out in the front yard
- Shotgun pellets falling from the sky
- One to three males swinging baseball bats at your kneecaps
- Hot Rod, the drug sniffing dog (trained to signal he has a scent by biting the crotch area)
If you have enough skill and perseverance to actually make it to the front door, ring the door bell and request an interview. Here is a sampling of the questions you might expect:
- Is your GPA 4.0 or better?
- Do you have a job now and what are your career plans?
- Do you have a car?
- Have you gone through puberty?
- Do you know how a male cow becomes a steer?
- Spell and define castration?
- What do you think of my dull, rusty knife?
- Do you have ED?
Actually the questions don't matter, because there is absolutely no way you're ever going to pass the interview anyway. Good luck on your way back to the curb.It seems unrelated, but recently I have had this strange urge to clean my guns and go to the shooting range.